She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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