ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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