dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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