I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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