Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
