I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
