Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
