I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
babies were throwing up all over the place
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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