i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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