I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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