oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
