Do vagina's smell?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
