Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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