so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
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