I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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