he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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