Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Enjoy the penises
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
