I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
My dick has a subreddit
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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