can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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