Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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