Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I just got carded by a ten year old.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
