We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
