Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
