So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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