We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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