At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
