sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
