i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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