Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
