Capitaan dildo arrescate!
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Randomize
