are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
