Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
