apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
