Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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