Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
