Me. At least after what I've been through.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
