Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
