I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
