Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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