put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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