My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
