We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
