i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
