I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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