is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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