tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You ate ashes out of my bong
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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