She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
