Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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