I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
