I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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