You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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