The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
